My past ~ I grew up in a small city in a family where both parents love eachother. I have 3 younger brothers, and no sisters. We grew up in a decent neighborhood in a no crime area. We did not have a lot of money, and rented the house. But, it didn't matter as we played outside all day, had a great imagination, and went to bed by dark. We did as our parents asked. We didn't talk back, and not because we were abused, but because we respected our parents. Yes, we were spanked, yelled at, and sent to our rooms if we did something wrong, but I don't consider it abuse. I think it kept us in line. I didn't have more than 6 shirts at a time. I owned a few dresses, and a couple pair of pants. I'll offer more info about me as future blogs appear :)
My present ~ I'm married to a man I knew since before kindergarten. We have four beautiful children, 2 boys, and 2 girls. I try to attend church on a regular basis, but I do get tention from the family. They would rather do the "rest" part of Sunday's. I attend MOPS as well, which is Moms Of Preschoolers. I really like going because it's a great group for moms to get together to take a little time out from children to care for us in a decent Christian manner. My husband and I rent an apartment, as we lost our home a few years ago. We are trying to build our credit back up again.
I also have a secret. My children and I are emotionally abused. Their father (my husband) is a very angry person. On a daily basis, we were called names, scared that he will lash out physically, and yes, at time, it happens. He calls me scumbag, cunt, F***in dummy, retard, Stupid F***, and much more. He is meanest to our first daughter who is now 10. His favorite words to use on her is scumbag, idiot, dummy, retard, fatso, chubby, and more. Our son is called Bas****, idiot, retard, dumb deigo, retard, bed wetter, cry baby, and more. The younger 2 he just calls retard, stupid kids, and dummies. I hate my life. I attend college full time, but not because I want to. It's because my husband wants me to. He's even picked out my degree for me. I was happy at my old job as a supervisor, but I didn't make much money. He wants me to make more money, so I'm forced to go to school to be a nurse. I started out as an LPN, and now I'm furthering my education as an RN.
My Hopes For A New Future: I hate my life, and I need to get things to change, and SOON! My kids hate their lives, and I want them to be happy!!! I want to leave my husband. I'm tired of his excuses that he treats us this way because of his diabetes. I've given him time to change. Years. My oldest son and daughter are starting to become like him, and it's my cue to start to change things. But, I need help. I tried domestic violence, and it was too scary for me. I know it sounds babyish, but I need someone to help. My hopes for a new and better future would be the family that isn't afread of eachother, who respects each other, and that will help eachother out. I want us to be happy. We don't need money....just happiness.
